It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize