he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize