You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize