Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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