I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize