so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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