SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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