the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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