whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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