i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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