Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
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She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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