awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize