I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
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According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
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It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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