im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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