im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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