so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
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Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
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I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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