Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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