He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize