So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What drink are we having for lunch?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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