the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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