she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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