ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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