I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize