We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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