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it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
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