So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize