I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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