It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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