my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize