I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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