officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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