Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize