oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize