someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize