I could have mohawked her pubes.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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