I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize