So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize