Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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