i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
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do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
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I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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