this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize