somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it glows. i had to have it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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