I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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