I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize