I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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