ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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