and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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