Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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