he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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