Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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