im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize