he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize