Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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